quick psa im on my way to myrtle beach rn so i wont be blogging much for the next few days
you walk up to the checkout at staples and lay out your purchases on the counter. the cashier grabs one of your purple elmers glue sticks and twists it up far enough to gnaw off the inch of uncovered adhesive. they chew it and open another and repeat it once again. you just stand there with your wallet still open in your hands, watching a stranger eat the glue that was so close to being yours. they move onto the fourth stick. you feel so betrayed. they are gnawing on the fifth stick. you didn’t even put this much glue in the basket. they pull off the orange cap of the sixth stick. their mouth is so school-safe. you have never seen anything so non-toxic in your life. a fourth grader could sprint up to them and lick the roof of their mouth and run back home as healthy as ever. a coworker joins them and you notice the sun has gone down. neither you nor they have blinked even once.
once i was at walmart and a bird landed on my mom’s car
so i turned on the wind shield wipers and it flew away AND IT BROUGHT HIS GANG